Not a conscious subject this time- a word to the wise to those who do not read what I write - which is just as well as I write for myself more than anything else.
Why do my boys insist on fighting over anything and everything and at their ages I still have to consistently intervene, which for that matter why am I always the referrer? Why does my son insist on jacking with the radio as soon as we get in the car? Why do they make things as difficult as possible? Why do I eat when I am happy, sad, anxious, mad, bored etc? It is no wonder I have put on the weight I have in the past few years- it is not for any certain reason it is just there...
Why oh why do people insist they want to work and then look at you in aversion when you tell them to do their job as you tired of doing it for them? and why cant' supervisors follow through with actions when they say they are going to?
Why do I feel the need to get my household in order by any means necessary including cutting off all ties from friends and family and isolating us to where there are no outside influences in our bubble to fix what ever is wrong with my child that makes him so combative?
Why must certain people call you and then lie to you? Why is there such a thing as dead beat dads? Why does the Child Support system consistently fail?
Why is there never enough time in the day? And why am I on here when I should be doing any number of things including studying for the test on Saturday that I am going to bomb... Why are there letters AND numbers in Math? English I am great, I might not write fantastically but since this is freehand (typing) and I am really the only one who reads it - what does it matter???
Why do your best friends in the world have the power to hurt and maim more than anyone else and not realize they do it? And why has the most rousing game of phone tag been playing since Monday ? So far I am winning by the way!
Why do people feel the need to pass judgment when they don't walk in your shoes and deal with everything on a daily basis, they only see a snapshot and then make decisions off of that ?
Why do I always have to be the one in charge? Why do I have to make all the hard decisions? I don't want to be the mediator, the peace maker and the one to blame when it all goes South quickly?
And why oh why do the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally not ever love you unconditionally? Why must there always be strings, terms, conditions, and if you F it all up the devil to pay later, I want a do over...
